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November 3rd, 2000
Back to Vancouver
This has been so long in coming. Sorry about
the wait. I have moved from L.A. back to Vancouver and only now
am I beginning to feel settled. I have been writing this in my
head for awhile as I've been processing the last few months. After
losing my voice (July) I wasn't in the most positive space, burnt
out, sung out, wrung out, and fading. I was sure I was losing
myself along with my love of performing only because I was exhausted.
Thank you for your encouraging letters through this time, urging
me to come off the road so I could replenish myself.
 We
went of all places to Panama City Beach in Florida for a few days
since it was close.  Bill
and I have stumbled across this place a few times and always had
a blast. Pitcher for a dollar, all you can eat oysters for five.
 'Sunny'
the albino snake! We sang Kareoke (I got drunk and did "Sweet
Surrender". It was hysterical...I know Sarah would have laughed.)
It took only a few weeks and a fantastic trip
to Asia to straighten me out. In those few weeks I got the move
together knowing that Vancouver is a haven for me. I stopped feeling
sorry for myself, and started focusing on Asia, a dream of mine
all my life. I was not let down.  It
took moments for me to recognize that I am beyond blessed to have
this experience. (It is amazing how much being tired will take
from your true perspective). As I flew 11 hours to Korea,  I
reflected on The GIRLS ROOM tour. I missed my new friends and
found myself aching for their music. It was on this tour when
I started 'losing my steam'. They really held me together. Their
music became my comfort and their enthusiasm kept me light.  Thank
Goddess for them and their amazing hearts. I was wishing they
were with me as we landed in this exotic land, filled with kind,
curious people more my size! I felt tall around the other women
there!  I
have decided that the Asian women are the most beautiful on Earth.
You should have seen the stewardesses! We ate so much the first
few days I thought I'd bust open. The food was really different
but very good and I became addicted to ginseng milkshakes.
I fell in love with the EMI people there.  They
are very punctual! They made me feel welcome and had a wonderful
translator who was so lovely that I felt she was translating what
I was saying and making it more beautiful because she looked like
an angel as she spoke my words in Korean.  I
had a makeup artist with me each day who was amazing. I felt beautiful
and appeared rested even though I was so jet lagged. I learned
a few words myself and I'm told my pronunciation was good. I didn't
believe them at first but many people told me so I became confident
about trying it on air. It went  over
very well so I did that in each country. The schedule in Korea
was a little easier than it had been in Taiwan and Thailand so
I got to get a feel for the country in the 3 days I was there.
What beautiful people, and the language is so musical! Even the
writing looks like music notes! We saw a palace and went to the
secret gardens.  I
even ran into Stephen Hawking in the Lobby of our Hotel. He was
doing a lecture in Seoul about black holes and saying that we
may have the universe close to being mapped. I had read 'A Brief
History of Time' while recording the last record so it was perfect
that he was there, above all petty things, not for one moment
feeling sorry for himself as he faced his obstacles. What do you
say? Hi. Nice to meet you! Perfect.
On to Taiwan, a sad goodbye to Korea. We found
out that the record got released all over Asia except Japan. We
were thrilled but couldn't visit those countries on this trip.
We arrived and there were kids at the airport asking for my autograph.
 I
guess the video was being played on V TV and was doing well so
I had new fans!!!! I found it difficult to understand their names
but the EMI Taiwan reps were right there helping! Talk about amazing
people! They worked me hard and fed me well.  We
all became fast friends. We stayed in the most amazing hotel in
the world! I was greeted with flowers and fruit and chocolate
from the hotel manager! I had my own butler the whole time I was
there.  There
was a huge marble dining room table that seated 12 in our room.
We made good use of it (Hee Hee). I didn't want to ever go back
to motels after this. Aziyn, my manager and dear friend had come
with us and was blown away by how organized the schedule was.
 The
make up artists were FANTASTIC!!!  I
did the most exciting press conference of my life and sang my
heart out. 'Settling' is the single there after 'Divided' so we
sang it twelve times a day at every radio station. The big surprise
was that every radio and T.V. interview was done by people who
had not only listened to the record, but had studied my bio and
had respect and questions of great depth.  I
was moved to see the value they place on music and art. The DJs
aren't trying to be smart asses! It was truly soul filling to
talk and sing at these interviews. The crowds were great at the
shows (they loved 'Jordan' when Bill goes crazy!!!) Blake was
also a star with all these fans around him. Al did a great job
with the sound as always!
I was also made an ambassador for the Society
of Wilderness which was the highlight for me of the entire trip.
 We
went to the jungle and I learned about the history of Taiwan,
the first tribes. I
saw a glorious river and I took a stone to remind me forever of
that perfect moment. Turns out my name means Beautiful Lotus.
I am told there is no education in Taiwan regarding conservation
so I made a few public service announcements about littering and
pollution.  The
S.O.W. are so passionate and I was very honoured to be a part
of it.  It
reminded me of the work we have to do at home. I had searched
in vain for a dragon teapot. I had no luck. At our final dinner
I was given the most beautiful teapot I had ever seen from my
friends at EMI. The dragon's mouth is the spout and the tail is
the handle. I could not believe how loving everyone was. I miss
them!
On to Thailand! Now, I had already put on a few
pounds, but I had intended the bulk of my weight to go on here!
Thai food is the greatest thing on Earth! We arrived to a very
different vibe. Thailand is laid back and the EMI reps were mellow.
 We
actually were convinced they didn't like us but after a few days
we saw that they just liked to give us our space. I hope they
liked us. I love the Buddhist ways and found the people of Thailand
to be so kind. Again we had fans at the airport...but not just
regular fans! I'm talking about the most enthusiastic fans I've
ever seen. The little red car is a picture of some of them as
they followed us everywhere! There are like 15 kids in that car!
It was great! At first it was strange but they were so happy and
giggly that I loved having them around and they multiplied and
even gave me stickers! I LOVE STICKERS and flowers. Man, I was
spoiled rotten! My name in Thai means river or stream. Perfect.
We did great press and went to the markets. We
met the head Goddess of EMI International and we ate and laughed
and sang and jammed. What a blast! I avoided the ping pong shows
but kinda wish I had caught a quick glimpse of it. How do they
do that? We did two performances and they were hard. They talked
louder than I was singing but sang along to the singles so I knew
they were having fun.  We
ran into friends who surprised us so we ducked out and had some
drinks. They were there on an exchange program. Giles was there
directing 'Waiting for Godot' in Thai, and Leslie was teaching
yoga. They explained that in Thailand they have a saying "Mai
pen rai" (spelled phonetically). It means that it doesn't matter.
 It
is such a different culture. It took a few days to settle in but
on the very last day I got the vibe just right. I wanted to go
to sleep because I was exhausted and everyone else had truly experienced
Bangkok but me. So Bill got me out of bed and we partied with
some great people that we met until we had to get on the plane
the next morning. We were all so hung over!!! One night in Bangkok...
 A
huge thank you to everyone who made that trip such an adventure.
None of us will ever forget it. We hope to return in the spring.
On our way home we stopped in Hawaii and slept on the beach. I
saw sea turtles and swam out to them with my snorkel gear. They
would let me hold their shell as they swam. It was like Dances
with Turtles.
Well I must go. Bill and I are recording a new
song tonight and a storm is coming. We are cozy, happy, and ready
to see what new music will come. My 27th Birthday just passed
and I found my first grey hair. Amazing how time passes, life
gets richer, and love gets better. I am helping my friend through
her labour next week. Hopefully that will curb my craving for
having kids now. :) But who knows...I'll keep you posted!
Love and light,
Tara xox
August 27, 2000
Los Angeles...one day to Asia
So here I am...packing again. Not just for Asia but for a
new home. Boxes everywhere but I don't even know where I'm going.
All I know is that I have to get out of this noisy city. I love it
here but I get nothing done. There is no Silence here..at least not
on my budget : ) I will miss this place. Epic parties and the market
nearby. I haven't written much here and I cannot be stagnant or I
will drop my basket. I guess I should go back to Canada. I had
considered San Diego but it is still so expensive and we need a
whole house to start the next stage of writing...no one banging on
the walls...no sonic limits.
Listening to 'Blonde on Blonde' drinking Yerba Mate tea from
my lovely tea pot, I feel overwhelmed with joy. I am on a quest for
the most beautiful tea pot in the world. One of my more simple
goals. I have known I would find it in Asia. I would like to learn
the ancient tea ceremonies and get some of the traditional robes
that accompany them. Perhaps I lived there in another life. I have
always had a vision of myself with an Asian child and so my husband
and I agreed years ago that after we had our children and our home
was solid that we would travel there to adopt a girl. There is an
acute and old intelligence in those eyes. We will raise her with
her traditions as well as our own...so much to look forward to in
life. So much to learn and love. I feel it coming at me at full
force today...the moon is new. I am ready to grow.
My rose is wilting in the wine bottle on the table. A 1952
Chateau Margaux from our Wedding. The most intense glass of wine of
my life. It is cool and breezy in here and time to chance the
music....hang on...
Ahhhh...the Baraka soundtrack. My favorite film. May as well
go all the way. Bill is still sleeping...I cannot. I watch him
sleep and I imagine us together in Asia..our first international
adventure. Who knows...maybe we'll just stay there. So send me good
vibes. I am told that they work you harder than anywhere else but I
love that. I have learned a few Mandarin sentences and I have
already done a lot of press for them. I find their questions so kind
and positive. They want to know and focus on different things than
the American press in general...although I must say I've had some
amazing interviews here. I hope they like me.
I am going to go wake Bill with some breakfast in bed and
finish packing...do the rest of the laundry. Korea, Thailand,
Taiwan. What should I bring? I could cry! What an amazing life I
have! What did I do to deserve this? What cds should I bring...this
one. Dead can Dance for sure. Peter Gabriel's Passion of course. The
Mission soundtrack...yep. My compilation cd of my faves! I think
I'll take Dido and Lanois. Tom Waits..check! Sheila Chandra! Ali
Farka Toure with Ry! I found some Buddhist Chants set to spectacular
music.
Time to go. The pigeons are having breakfast. Zeus, the white
one on the roof next door is holding court. Did you know that if you
gave a bird a handful of different seeds the bird would choose hemp
seeds before all others because they have more nutrition and help
them to lay more eggs.
Take care,
Tara xoxo
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July 3, 2000
Prince Edward Island to Tampa, Florida
I have arrived in Toronto where we have to go through customs before
we go to Florida. I've had 3 hours of sleep and my throat is so
sore. Spirits are up, though. I suppose it is because I have managed
to pull off three shows with Strep throat and no one could tell. I
am pretty sure that I could do a show with an arrow through my head
these days. Blake and Al got a rest last week so they are fresh and
happy. Poor Bill on the other hand had to look after me all week,
but we are alright...just keeping Asia on our minds as the thing to
reach for. If we can make it to the end of August without burning
out, we are home free!
Hang on...have to go through customs...
Now that was funny! As we go by a customs officer says "Hi Tara!"
We go through here so much that they know us. Flight attendants too!
We get on planes and they say.." Hey, we had you on a flight last
week". We fly almost every day. Usually it includes two planes. I
have spent more time in the air than I have spent in my own bed! So
I boogied through the security x-ray and that made the little old man
laugh.
I am from P.E.I. and playing there yesterday was awesome. We
opened for Great Big Sea at the post-Canada day celebration. My
little sister, Bryde, showed up and my best friend from childhood,
Jenny and her new baby Kaetlyn. We went for Lobster and brought my
Nana. Al and Bill shared a four pound Lobster!
The lovely blond in the background of the picture with Kaetlyn and me is Jenny's sister Ananda. In the photo of the girls from left to
right is Bryde, me (looking really tired), Jenny and her other sister Rachel. Ananda on top and of course little Kaetlyn in my arms. It was so hard to put
her down!
I had an amazing experience the other day. I sang with the
Chieftains in Atlanta. My fever was breaking and my throat was like
sand paper. It felt like I was swallowing razor blades. Their
manager gave me this incredible lozenge that stopped the pain and
made it possible for me warm up my voice. I had been so worried that
my voice wouldn't hold up but it was there! I sang "He Moved
Through the Fair", one of the most beautiful Irish classics. I had
goosebumps from head to toe. It will be one of my fondest musical
memories...and they are wonderful people. Of course, they are Irish!
So off to Florida and then to Buffalo, then Toronto and then
Seattle to start the Girls' Room tour.
See you on way...,
Tara xoxo
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June 13, 2000
Toronto to Norfolk, Virginia flying
On a plane... again. I am feeling fairly rested and ready for
the summer touring. I have been doing many interviews as of late and
one thing has been bothering me throughout these talks. Perhaps it
is my inability to properly describe and express myself thoroughly
on a certain topic. I am going to attempt now to make myself clear
to... myself : )
I was asked near the beginning of my more public life, how I
felt being a part of a " Women's movement" in music. I honestly
couldn't understand the question. Growing up in the 70's meant that
I listened to ABBA and Stevie Nicks and Emmy Lou Harris, Peter
Gabriel, Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan on and on. I listened to as many
women making music as men. In the 80's it was Madonna and Duran
Duran or Prince or the Cocteau Twins or Whitney Houston. I did not
categorize in terms of the sex of the main singer in a group. My
music was either groovy happy dancing music or mellow bath ballad
stuff. I had no idea that there was an issue at radio and at record
companies about playing too many women or having too many women on
a label. My perspective was that Music was an equal opportunity
place. There are two kinds of music. Music that moves you, and music
that doesn't. You either get it or you don't.
When Sarah brought Lilith Fair to the world, it was to dispel
the illusion to Prick Radio Programmers that people did not want to
hear women back to back on the radio and she wanted to show
promoters that women could play together on one bill and people
would come. She made her point, they got the message, but it is
still happening. Why?
I think perhaps it is in part because we are still constantly
labeling music into Men and Women's music in the media. Every
single solitary person makes different music than the next. Each
soul conducts their own vision of song. A song is the perspective of
the writer. Sure the gender plays a role in that perspective, but
even before our gender, we are human, suffering and overcoming and
praying for something better. I have heard men singing about loss
of love and search for truth with more longing than I could ever
find in myself ( And I consider that my forte). I have heard women
on stage screaming with a fury that I cannot even picture in an army
charging to battle. The division is not in the sex of the writer,
it is in the passion. Is there passion or is there not? That is all
we need to ask ourselves here.
I am so proud to be a Woman. I am unique and strong in so
many ways because of this fact, but the illusion that we tried to
erase is back with a vengeance, in the thought that perhaps "Women's
music" is a fad, like it came and left with Lilith and anything
after it (concerning Women) is trying to feed on the crumbs of
this soft, flowing, ethereal idea. What a load of crap!
Women have always sung. Men have always sung. Since the
beginning of time. We will travel together or apart, telling our
stories, learning about ourselves and each other.
The question that has been put to me lately is, "Will there
be a backlash against Women's Music?" There can be no backlash
because it is impossible. We need all music. We need the great music
that comes from the depths of all people. Do not listen anymore to
the illusion that some of the media paints. Listen to the music.
Yes, Women still fight for our rights, our bodies, our brains
and our business, but let the fundamental truth of music come
through. There can be no negative division in song. Not by gender,
not by colour, etc. See through he bullshit perspective of those who
analyze art for a living, putting into categories, cutting it into
pieces so they can sort through it. It isn't real. It is not right.
also, mainstream music is only a tiny percent of what is happening
in the world.
We, as people, must celebrate every difference and every
similarity. BEING A WOMAN IN MUSIC WILL NEVER, EVER BE A NEGATIVE
THING.
I hope that by addressing this question I am not giving power
to the ignorance of it. Perhaps someone with more experience would
chose to leave it be and not give the question any attention, but it
has been asked of me so many times that I feel that something is
wrong now.
The mass hypnosis of the Cosmetic and Fashion Industry has
had a devastating effect on Women and their self worth. This has
trickled into music. The basis of this evil seed is fear of the
power of Woman. I can still feel the reverberations of the fear that
only a few hundred years ago had women killed for gathering and
talking about the healing power of herbs, or easing the pain of
childbirth. It wasn't that long ago.
What are you really asking me when you say, " Will there be a
backlash against Women's music? "
You are asking...
" Have women overstepped their boundaries? Are women
perceived to be doing better than men? If so, should we put a stop
to that before women get out of hand, out of line? "
I can see an innocence in the question, as well. Soft music,
emotive music " Dominated" the airwaves so will the pendulum swing
toward the aggressive more testosterone driven music? I can see how
someone may see it that way, but if you look at it realistically,
Women have never dominated the airwaves! I watched the charts
carefully during this time and yes, sometimes women held the #1 spot
but never did I see the top 20 dominated by women. And even if they
had...so what? Why the panic? Why is everyone so up at arms? Why did
Sarah have to defend Lilith every day?
We will gather and create and co-inspire forever. We will
gather because of our spiritual beliefs, because of our colour and
our gender and many other reasons. We will gather in groups to
strengthen our souls and find solidarity.
It is essential for our survival and for our evolution. It is
essential for our personal growth and the growth of our world.
We have to teach each other and come together when we have
things in common, and when we do not. Let us teach each other how to
accept, how to rise above the pettiness, and listen to the music.
The question was in itself a shallow one, based on a narrow,
surface vision. But the fact that the question was posed says to me
that we have a long, long way to go and that we quickly forget what
has happened in our past.
Stop dissecting Music. It all comes back around and what is
perceived as a " Musical Trend" will be blown out of the water when
some brilliant artist comes to fill the emptiness in us, someone
who speaks for our time. Man and Woman. It has always happened and
it always will.
Tara
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May 31, 2000
Portland to Seattle driving
So...after the last entry I found out that we are going to South
East Asia in September! It's all in the attitude! I am so excited! I
couldn't be more happy. I must have done something right somewhere
along the line. I am sure there will be some crazy journal entries
from there. Well, I'm going to go on line and learn more about these
countries. Al, our new Soundman is awesome!!! YIPEEEEE!
Love,
Tara
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May 26th, 2000
L.A. to Vancouver flying
Hello all!
Wondering what I'm up too? I'm on a plane to Vancouver to
shoot a T.V. special. I have had 4 days to rest and I feel prepared
for the summer leg of the tour. Beginning on May 30th we have a tour
manager/ sound person for the first time! This should make life a
little less hectic for us all. I have such a wonderful management
company and still I have been feeling like I was falling apart,
barely making it by. Silly really, but travelling can be so
stressful, especially when you fly everyday with as much gear as we
do without a tour manager. The people at the airline counters look
at us like we are crazy and then inform us that we cannot get on the
plane with this stuff and then I have my daily nervous breakdown. NO
MORE!!! I am so excited!
When I look back at the last six months of intensive touring,
I realize that nothing had prepared me for the challenges I faced.
Then, how can your dream come true if the road is not rigorous in
some way. I see very clearly the mistakes I made in letting my
patience falter. My Mother told me that when we look back from the
end of this road, what will stay with us the most is how we treated
people, and then the road continues accordingly. My life is happy
and full and alive, and so I am to move through the world as such.
The test, therefore, has always been in the details of the days, and
not on the stage, or in an interview. A few days' perspective will
work wonders,taking away the panic and soothing the soul. This
Summer, my goal is to not be attached to outcome. I say that is my
philosophy but that goes down the drain on the road. I hold on for
dear life to things that feel comfortable and familiar. Not now. I
expect that everything will be turned upside down, everything will
be different and strange and frightening. Bring it on! I feel that
there is nothing I can't handle. I hope it lasts.
I hit a bottom in St.Louis. I went on Stage completely
drained. I could hardly look anyone in the eye. I was afraid that
anyone needing me for anything would send me over the edge, but I'm
strong again. Rest is sooo important. It is hard for me before a
show to see people and communicate because I am getting into a
space, but after the show I could hang forever.
This touring pace is unnatural, so I will make it natural,
no more resistance, no more holding back. Who knows what will come
now, what will unfold? I am sure that it will be amazing no matter
what it is. That is the nature of life. : )
Love,
Tara
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April 23, 2000
Washington to Pittsburgh driving
Easter Sunday.
Okay, enough chocolate for now. We are driving along the highway on
our one precious day off. Bill is at the wheel, Blake is in the back
seat in between the kick drum and the amplifier. It is up to him to
pick the music for our trip. This is an enormous
responsibility....ah some mandolin...a little busy for the
moment...actually, kind of good driving music.
We just ate at Cracker Barrel! Is there anything better than
that? Perfect comfort food and people watching opportunity! Everyone
out in their Sunday best doing the Easter family gathering. It seems
so normal and achingly sweet. I wish I could go sit at one of their
tables and listen to them talk about home stuff, school, friends,
Aunt Bee slurping her tea. Then a little girl beside us started to
cry. Her sugar high morning melting into a low afternoon right there
at the table. Rubbing her little eyes and moaning more than crying.
It took everything in me not to pick her up and sing her to sleep. I
think it's almost baby time for me. Won't that be fun on the road.
Ah...some blues...Muddy Waters. Good choice.
The country side is definitely beautiful in Pennsylvania. All the
buds and blossoms tentatively push their way out into the world. It
takes all their courage to just to come here, so sweet and soft and
still a little sleepy from the long winter. We are driving through a
valley, a long river to the right, farms, cows. Birch trees still
naked line the road, nests clinging to the branches. I wonder if
they hold eggs yet... Broken down cars and little houses. I wonder
about the lives within. I am told that a birch tree symbolizes
birth. This is like being in a chalk drawing.
Sometimes it seems so unreal, this constant movement. I feel
the need to nest like an anchor being dragged behind the van, but I
have to keep going and seeing every city as a chance to find a clue.
Each show is a chance to refine and define my music and my ability
to connect.
I keep a photo of an unknown location with me. It is of a
porch with a claw foot bathtub in the middle of a beautiful garden.
I pretend that is my home and somehow that keeps me sane. The music
is off now and the wind and the car is all we hear...and Blake
snoring. The sun is coming out strong now and my eyes are red and
sore from the late nights in smokey clubs.I think I'll close my eyes
for a bit. Bill drives so well. I feel safe and warm and full.
Tomorrow I have four performances. I don't know where I am going to
find it in me. Knowing that a few shows with Dido are coming up make
me happy. The sound will be great and she is such a delightful woman
and is becoming a valuable friend. Having someone who is in the same
boat as you is good for finding ways to bail out before you sink,
and also understand the depth of the excitement when things are
flowing right.
I will try to write more frequently but I am not left with a
great deal of time to express what is going on, and most of the time
there are no words to describe where I am. All I know is that this
is one the greatest and most challenging adventures I've ever
experienced. I am grateful. I am tired.
Love,
Tara
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March 24, 2000
Las Vegas, Nevada
I have never been here before. I hear the town
spinning and I want to go out but I have been putting this off
for a long time. The first entry of my Journal. I have been trying
to figure out why I have been procrastinating. I can say that
it is because of the grueling schedule but that would be a half
truth. To be honest I don't know how to start. I am not drawn
to the the computer as I am to paper and in order for me to begin
something I must feel a pull of some kind. Most nights on the
road I do fall into bed exausted, with the thought of describing
my day far from my mind. How can I show you my life except for
through my songs? Do I have anything to offer in this way? Is
anybody really interested in this shit?
When I begin a new leg of a tour I am so determined to do everything
right! I will be sure to eat well and exercise at least three
times a week! I will read from my book each night and write in
my little blue velvet journal. I will stretch to keep stiffness
from taking over my body and I will be awake and aware and focused.
I will keep clippings for a scrap book for my children. I will
give it all to each performance and interview and most of all,
be kind and loving to everyone I meet, everyone I come into contact
with. I will not complain! No matter what I will remember that
everything is a test and I will handle all situations with strength
and grace. HA!
Week two. Four hours of sleep each night. I had a burger at 1am
because we weren't fed on the plane where Bill had to keep me
from flipping off the flight attendant who took my drink before
I got to take my Advil . Our rental car is too small for the gear
and the hotel room can't find our reservation but that's okay
because they have a room but only in the basement next to the
boiler room with no windows and a small bed that Bill's feet hang
off of, oh and Miss? The gym is closed. We have no sound man so
the feedback at sound check takes that last nerve and stamps on
it and the monitors never work. EVER!. No one is talking to each
other and I'm in tears because I have a nosebleed from the dry
air and I have an interview arriving at the venue in five minutes.
I haven't read, stretched, written, eaten well or even thought
about anything besides surviving until tomorrow.
But then the show... and all the heaviness from little sleep and
much travel seem to completely disappear. For an hour it seems
so much more than worth it. Whether there are 5 people or 500
people we all look at each other and smile knowing that tomorrow
we will be hauling our gear to the airport at six am to go to
the next city to find this feeling again. There is nothing like
it. To stand on a stage and have the eyes and ears of open souls
turned toward you. I cannot describe it except that I want to
do this always.
There is a little glamour here and there but for the most part
I am working harder than I ever have. I am a little lazy and so
this pace seems a bit unnatural but I have a wonderful chance
to do something great with my life. In a way I feel that I have
no choice. I am propelled by something else. Something far stronger
than I can control and so long as it moves me, I will let myself
be moved. If it begins to take me somewhere that I feel is no
longer true, then I will stop, and become more of a listener.
I think, in it's deepest essence, that great music is pure truth.
I do not think I am a great writer yet. I have much to learn,
much to unlearn and many layers to peel away in order to stand
before you and before myself in the form that I imagine is possible.
I see it as a calmness that I have not yet achieved and a wildness
that terrifies me. I see it all and still I am safe on this side
of the edge. Of course, what we fear is what we must move toward,
the core of it all, and offer it a chance to speak, or in this
case, sing.
In my dreams I am singing at the Royal Albert Hall in London.
My mother is in the front row with my Fathers on either side of
her. My sisters and my brother are smiling from the wings and
I sing to them there, as I do every night. I sing because their
courage has put me there, our mistakes and our triumphs have led
me to this place of perfect peace and sound. And maybe, just maybe,
the fucking monitors will work : ). Thank you for listening.
Until next time....
Love and Light,
Tara Margaret Charity MacLean
xo
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February 21, 2000
Vancouver to Denver
Hello Passengers! Welcome
to my trip as we embark on a two year tour in support of my new
record. I am imagining a crazy and wonderful time to come. I will
try to give you glimpses into our days beyond the show, behind
the songs, before the lights hit. I cannot wait to sing for all
of you. I hope you enjoy the ride...
Love & Light,
Tara MacLean
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